


Home

by panromanticcas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Asexual, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Dean is bisexual, LGBT, Panic Attacks, Panic at the Disco - Freeform, Panromantic, Reader Insert, Winchester Sister, ace - Freeform, dean is bi, gay reader, panromantic asexual
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 04:01:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8235379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panromanticcas/pseuds/panromanticcas
Summary: Chapter one of "Home"





	1. Home

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter one of "Home"

"hey Y/N, you still awake?" Sam quietly asks, turning round from the passengers seat of the impala.

  
"No." I reply.

  
Dean chuckles and from what I am pick out from the night sky that surrounds us, Sam smiles.

  
"Don't worry Y/N. We'll be there in five minutes. Then you'll have your own bed and you won't be squat up in the back seat." Dean says.

  
"Yeah," I reply.

I fix deans flannel that I'm using for a pillow and force my eyes to stay open. Rain slams on the windows and thunder shatters in the distance.

Dean takes a few sharp turns and a lit up sign beams through the night.

  
"Blue bird..." Sam questions.  
"Wasn't this the same place dad stayed when we were hunting that woman in white?"

  
"I don't know...Anyways, Y/N, cmon. Up and at em." He slaps the back of the seat and I jerk up, grabbing my bookbag and handing my brothers theirs. We only have one bag each since its only one night we'll be here for. I use deans flannel to cover my head and we all run in.

  
The slim man at the desk hands Sam a key to room nine. He wishes us a nice stay and tells us to take an umbrella from the long vase. "Just remember to put it back when you check out." He smiles.

  
Of course I'm the one who takes the umbrella and we head down the eight other filled rooms. We reach room nine and I fall onto one of the beds.

  
"Jesus Christ. This is the best bed ever." I groan.  
"Really?" Dean asks, about to fall back on the other bed.  
"No it's like a brick. But anything is better than your stupid car."

  
Dean rolls his eyes and-  
Sam presses his finger on his lips, signalling that we be quiet.  
"Do you hear that?" He mouths.  
Dean slowly gets up from the bed and takes his gun out from his coat pocket.

  
"Y/N, corner." Dean mouths and signals with his gun. I quietly get off the brick and back into the corner by the table.

  
The door to the bathroom opens and someone steps out. The- what looks to be man- turns around and faces the three of us.

  
"Hi kids." He smiles.  
"Dad?" I whisper.  
Sam and Dean stand there, unsure what to do or say.  
"Long time no see."


	2. Two

"Y/N!" He chuckles. "It's been what, 8 years?" He asks, pushing through Sam and Dean.

"Yeah, about that." He meet half way across the room and he gives me a hug. Something I've never had from dad before. I hug him back, but he quickly let's go.

"Boys." He smiles at them, turning back around.

"Dad, why are you... Why are you here?" Sam asks. He tearing up.

Dean isn't because it's just the way he is, and I'm not either, because last time I seen my dad, I was seven.   
I don't even know why I'm happy to see him. He doesn't even know me. He doesn't know my flaws, about my mental health, my sexuality or even my taste in music and everything I've been through over the years. A lot can happen in eight years.

Sam on the other hand never had a role model. Dean told be dad wasn't much of one. I've had Sam and Dean, so I don't really need a father. Dean can take care of himself though, and I love that about him.

"Because I wanted to see you. Because I wanted to see Y/N actually."

"What?" Sam asks.

"Listen. I've met someone. Her name is ruby. She's amazing. We've been together for six years now."

"Well good for you but we ain't here to listen about your relationship." Dean cuts in. He's pissed.

"Just listen to me. She wants a family. Kids actually. But she can't have any."

"Alright get on with it." Dean buys in again.

"Dean," Sam shoots Dean a look of pity.

"I miss my daughter. So I was hoping, you would come back with me, and you could live with us. Me, you and Ruby, in a two story house. You could have a normal life."  
Dad looks right at me.   
"Will you do it? Come back with your dad and live with him?" He asks me.

I shake my head no.

"What about Sam and Dean?" I ask.

"Y/N, they're adults now. They can handle themselves. It's you I'm worried about."

"Why're you worried about her?" Sam asks.

"Yeah dad. You gotta problem with your own daughter? You want her to be normal? Have some sort of apple pie life?" Dean shoots at him.

"Listen. I don't want her going around with you two. It's dangerous. And this life? It's no life for a teenage girl."

"You don't even know her." Dean growls.

"She's my daughter. I know her Dean,"

"She's not gonna move in with you! You've been absent for years! Doing what? Making out with some chick you picked up at the side of a bar?"

"Dean," Sam says.

"No Sam! Are you freaking kidding me? This is bull crap!"

My throat feels tight, like someone is choking me. I can't breathe. My palms sweat and my hands shake. It feels like my throat is closing off.   
I start to cry. I'm having another panic attack.

"Y/N, hey. Let's get you out to the car, okay?" Sam smiles. He knows what to do. The doctor told us the best thing to do is for everyone to stay calm that's around me ; it will help me fight the attack.

"Jesus," Dean mutters.

"What's happening? Jesus!" John puffs.   
He runs into the bathroom and Sam takes me to the door to head outside. I can't be around them fighting like this. Before John gets out of the bathroom, getting whatever he's looking for- I walk over, shaking to Dean and give him a hug. He embraces me and tucks my hair behind my ear.

"I'm so sorry Y/N." He whispers.

I feel something wet flick up against my face. Dean must as well because he backs off from the hug and turns towards John.

John stars an exorcism.

  
Sam walks over and pushes the flask out of his hand.

"You freaking idiot! She's having a panic attack because of you! She has anxiety! She's not possessed!" Sam yells at him.

It's the first time I've ever heard Sam yell. He's not staying calm even though he did the right thing.

"Jesus Y/N I'm sorry. I didn't know." He apologizes.

"Your apology doesn't mean anything to her you son of a bitch." Dean growls again.

Sam gets me outside before I can hear anymore of their argument.

We get in the impala and Sam starts the car up, even though it's around 12:30. He puts in one of my CDs and plays it, quietly.  
He backs out onto the road and starts driving.   
"Remember you breathing exercises. One big puff in,"   
I do as he says.   
"And a big one out."

I repeat the steps over and over again for ten minutes. I try to think positive, of all the things that make me happy. 


	3. 3

"Here I am composing a burlesque!" Sam squeals in a high pitched voice as we zoom down the street.

I laugh hysterically at him.   
"Stop it! Oh my god Sam!"

Sam chuckles at me.

He knew I was having a bad day at school today so he picked me up and we've been on the road ever since, takin the longest route back to the bunker.

Sam always knows how to make me feel better.

Now it's him signing obnoxiously to panic! At the disco songs.

"I hate you!" I laugh as I punch his side.

"I hate you too jerk." He smiles.

"Bitch." I reply.

  
                      X

  
"Boo!" Dean shouts at me from behind the kitchen seat where I'm siting.

I let out a scream.

I turn around and face him.

"You're such an jerk Dean! I just spilled my cereal all over the table!" I laugh. I could never hate Dean. I look up to him.

"Shh. Come with me." Dean leads me down to his room and tells me to put on one of his flannels because mine is so wet from the milk. He stands outside of the closed door as I put on the shirt and I hear him yell out to Sam.

"Sam!"

"What Dean,"

"I just heard some sort of notice coming from the kitchen. Like someone knocked over a bowl of something."

"Jesus Christ!"

I hear Sam running past Dean and to the kitchen.

"There's milk and cereal everywhere!"

"You want me to give you hand or-"

"No don't worry. I've got it."

Dean steps back into his room where I'm lying on his bed.

"See? Now you don't have to clean up your breakfast. We can sit in here and watch one of those shows you like together."

I smile.

We browse Netflix for ten minutes when Sam storms into the room.

"You scared her again, didn't you,"   
He asks.

Me and Dean exchange looks and then look at Sam.

  
                    X

  
"Are you okay now? Is it getting any better?" Sam asks.

"Not a hundred percent but it's getting slightly better."

"That's good. Just remember to breathe."   
                       //  
"You bastard. You don't know Y/N like we do." Dean pushes John up against a wall with one arm, holding a knife to his throat with the other.

"Fine. Maybe I don't know her the way I want to. But I want to know who she is. I want her to be my daughter. For her to have a family."  
John let's out.

"Well you sure got a lot of catching up to do,"   
                       ///  
I tap sam's back twice and lightly. He's sitting down in the library, doing some research on his tablet.

He looks around, questioning what I want.

"Can I tell you something?" I whisper. My stomach curdles with fear and my head feels ten times bigger than it actually is.

"Yeah Y/N. You know you can tell me anything." He uses a more serious tone this time.

Whenever I usually ask him anything, I shout at him and swear.

Dean calls me "mini Dean." But this time, I'm not loud or using the word "bitch." I'm scared.

"Is Dean back yet?" I ask.

"No. I don't think so."

I take a seat next to him and a tear falls from my cheek.

"Y/N, you okay?" He places his hand on my thigh.

"I'm...I'm..."

"Yeah?"

"I'm pan romantic asexual." I smile through the tears. I have no idea how he's gonna take it.

I quickly realize that he has no idea what that means.

"In attracted to all genders in a romantic way. I'm not sexually attracted to anyone."

"Y/N, stop crying." He smiles.

"You know you can tell me anything. I'm glad you told me. This doesn't change anything. You'll always be my little geek sister." He smiles again.

He gets up and we hug.

I spot Dean. He pokes his heads around the corner.

I let go off Sam and look at Dean. So does Sam.

"You're pan?" He questions me.

I stand there, nervous again. He wasn't suppose to know. Not yet at least.

He walks over to me.

"I heard everything."

My heart starts pounding out of my chest.

"And I think that it's amazing that you have the courage to come out at 15. You're amazing Y/N."

He smiles and hugs me too. I can't believe he's okay with it. He never really seemed to be someone who would be okay with me being pan.

"Well I'm old enough to do it now if Y/N can do it."

There's a pause of silence.

"I'm bisexual."   
                    ///  
"Can you drive me to the hospital?" I ask, from the back seat of baby.

"Y/N? What's wrong?" Sam asks.

"I can't breathe. I think my throat is closing off."

"Dean, drive!"

Dean slams on the gas and flys to he hospital.

I get out of the car, dizzy. Sam helps carry my weight and Dean moves quickly in front of us, grabbing the door for us.   
...

"They're called panic attacks." The doctor tells us.

"There's not really a cure since it's a mental problem and not something physical. The best thing you two can do for her is to remain calm when she has them and help her breathe."   
          

                    ///

  
"You'll be okay Y/N. I promise. Dean tucks my hair behind my ear.

We both sit on my bed and I stay silent. Dean talks things over with me, making sure I stay calm.

Sam comes in with a huge bag of chips and soft drinks for all of us. No beer for them because they know I hate it when they drink it.

  
"You two are gonna die from being alcoholics you know."

  
Sam lys on one side of me and Dean lys on the other. They squish me on my small bed and Sam turns on the tv as Dean leans his head into me and holds my hand which makes me feel safe.

Cas comes to visit us later and my brothers are still in the same position.

  
"Hey Y/N." Cas says.

  
"Hey."

  
"We care about you. You know that right?"

  
"Yeah."

  
"We'll help you fight this. You're not not alone."

  
                     ///

  
"She's gay? She likes girls? She's only 15! She's not old enough to know anything about stuff like that! And having these attacks? She's just over reacting!" John snaps.

"See? You can't even accept her for the amazing person she is! What makes you think you can have a child? There's a reason she's with us! Sam left Stanford to help raise her with me! For fs sake, we are her parents! Not you and this ruby chick!"

"You watch your mouth son. And you? Being bisexual? What's that about? You just want attention? Because daddy never loved you as much Y/N or Sam?"

"See? You're a coward. You don't love your kids. You're sick."

John pushes Dean off his chest and grabs his knife.

"You watch yourself son. Now. Where is she? Where's Sam? Where did he take her?"

"I don't know."

"Where did he take her?"John screams, pushing Dean up against the wall, the same position Dean had him just seconds ago.

"I don't know." Dean spits


End file.
